No kidding.

You know those silly tests you take to see what your something or other is? (don't get me wrong, I'm not poking fun - that would be hypocriticall as I take them all the time)

Well, there is one for patroni. Patronusi. Patronuses. Whatever.

So anyways, I took the darn thing, right? And you know what I got? That's right. A FROG!

Okay, in retrospect, this isn't so bad. I mean, there are poisionous frogs out there, right? And some frogs are really cool. Plus, Neville had a frog. Toad. Amphibian like creature that vaguely resembles a frog-type thing. Whatever.
Anyways, Nev is one of my favorite characters - so this could be a good thing, right? But seriously, one of the questions was 'what would you fear going up against most' and I picked the basilisk.

Because I'm a coward and the idea of a snake that is bigger than my house terrifies me. Oh, don't forget that if you look it in the eyes (the only place to judge what a predator is going to do next, allow me to remind you) ... you die. Right away. And it has snakey speed. Like, times a hundred-thousand. I dare you to sue me. So I was more scared of the dang giant snake-that-kills-people-with-it's-eyes than of the whomping willow (which, I might add, you can simply stay out of range of. it wouldn't be that hard. plus, you can obviously survive getting hit by a branch*looks significantly at fourth movie*) or of the big man eating spiders that you simply need a semi-sentient flying Ford Anglia to beat a hasty and well timed retreat from. I was like, huh, Necessary equipment for getting away from the spiders - flying car. Necessary equipment for getting away from the snake - phoenix, talking hat, sword that only one person in the whole world can wield, incredible bravery, and willingness to get stabbed in the arm by honking big poisiouness snake fang. Gee, I wonder which one I'd be more afraid of?

Anyway. Back to my original purpose of explaining why a giant snake terrifies me more than anything else up to and including His Snakey Nose-lessness himself. I said that it terrified me. SO HOW MUCH GOOD IS A STINKING FROG GOING TO DO AGAINST A GIANT EYE-DEATH INDUCING SNAKE BENT ON KILLING ALL OF MY KIND?

I mean, really.

It also occured to me that if all that was real and I was somehow sucked into a bad Mary-Sue fic then I would be a Slytherin. Because I'm a coward and I always try to find a way to get out of the fight, but still take credit for it. But I'd make a terrible one.

Because, you know, I'd be terrified of my own mascot.



Okay, that was another midnight ramble with Aspy. Be sure to check out my other one, titled 'Oh sh...sausage' I've been told they are humorous, but as I am too tired to realize this when writing them, I'm not entirely sure of this being fact.


Oh, PS. Everyone that I know and love? I'm going to camp for about a week. So, yeah, I love you, and am not ignoring you, I just don't have access to a computer.